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How to turn challenging conversations into growth opportunities

How to turn challenging conversations into growth opportunities

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1 MIN. READING TIME
 Challenging conversations are inevitable for us all. Differing perspectives and ways of doing things; poor listening skills, mixed with stress and pressure - all of these factors contribute to the challenges we face in communication.
 
Let’s call these challenges pinch points. Here is how to turn them into opportunities for growth. 
 
Every pinch point will turn into one of two outcomes: flashpoints or growth points.
 
Flashpoints occur when emotions dominate, issues escalate, and as a result, we display a lack of self-control.
 
This then enables the challenges to become even greater, which often means that there is a higher chance for people to become hurt or disgruntled when communication and connection break down.
 
Growth points are quite different. Despite being founded in the same challenging conversations, growth opportunities manifest when both sides find a way to appropriately connect, displaying mutual respect and a desire to find the best outcome.
 
Perspective is key in this process and what it achieves is often remarkable: the ability to see a challenging conversation in a new light and look for opportunities for personal and collective growth in it.
 
Looking for growth opportunities in challenging conversations is hard-wired into the DNA of quality leaders. 
 

Tips on how to make the most of challenging conversations - reflected in scenarios

 
Spend some time reflecting on each of the scenarios below. What might be the possible growth points in each?
 

  • Scenario 1 – You leave a meeting frustrated that a team member regularly belittles your comments and contributions.

  • Scenario 2 – You notice that another member of your team is very quiet in meetings and rarely speaks up. This has not just been this week, but instead, an observable pattern over the last quarter. You want to say something, but you're aware that the person may display some sensitive behaviour when reacting to criticism. 

  • Scenario 3 – Pressures at work have been steadily rising for some time. Each day begins with a tangible pressure and you notice yourself becoming overly focused on the tasks in hand, often to the detriment of personal relationships. You are not managing to find time to greet colleagues appropriately; you no longer take a lunch break, and you become aware that you are single-minded and not your usual personable self. You find yourself being a little blunt with people.

  • Scenario 4 – You take on a new recruit and after six months, continue to be concerned about the value they are bringing to their team. You had hoped they would get up to speed quicker and you are faced with having to have a difficult conversation about not continuing their employment.

  • Scenario 5 – You feel frustrated that you have been overlooked for promotion and others in your team seem to be being given preferential treatment by your boss.
 
For each of the above scenarios, the pinch point is triggered by a different situation. What are the potential dangers for each one becoming a flashpoint? What could you do to seek to avoid this? Where might potential growth points lie in each of these situations?
 

Overall thoughts

Growing to be people, or teams that can handle challenging conversations well will help you stand head and shoulders above the competition. We can all talk about it, but few of us are proficient at putting these things into practise for better growth. 
 
What difference would it make to you personally if you grew in this area of challenging conversations? How might it benefit your wider team or your organisation?
 
 

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